The clouds are lifting

I feel much better today! Thank you to everyone who prayed for me. I realized I needed to take a day devoted to resting and grieving. So yesterday while Meredith was at school I read the Bible, prayed, read books about grief, spent time on the Hannah's Prayer forum and added a playlist to my blog (scroll to the bottom to hear it). I spent a lot of time just thinking about my babies and letting the tears flow freely. The time went by quickly, but when it was time to pick Meredith up, I felt like I could function again. I wasn't out of the woods yet, but I took each task one at a time and by the end of the day I had cooked dinner, washed a load of laundry, gave Meredith a bath, played tea party and Chutes and Ladders and read her a book. It may not sound like much to some moms, but from the way I was feeling it was nothing short of a miracle. Today I had more joy and I'm even starting to look forward to the holidays! I will have more hard times ahead, but I made it through this one and I'm so grateful. I'm grateful to God who never forsakes me, Jeremy for being the best husband ever and friends and strangers who lift me up in prayer.